5 Ways To Show Up As You Are And Honor The Life You Are Living
Welcome! This blog and associated podcasts are inclusive, self-empowerment, personal development, and inner harmony-nurturing safe spaces where you will be guided to not only take up space, but simultaneously hold space for others.
Let us chat about the importance of recognizing that the way we are is the way we are CURRENTLY meant to be. By now you know that I intentionally repeat what I say so let me just state that one more time: the way we are is the way we are CURRENTLY meant to be. This blog post is also a follow-up from one of my Instagram posts.
So much has happened to us collectively over the last couple of months. Hit with the pandemic and the tragic events surrounding the Black Lives Matter Movement; there is no doubt that people have experienced losses on all levels. The implications of the coronavirus especially are evident. From loved ones to jobs, a lot of people have questioned the viability of their own successful future. In addition, many are experiencing stress and anxiety while facing the unknown.
As human beings, we should allow ourselves to evolve, but we should never feel inadequate. Where we are at any given moment is where we are meant to be. Yes, you may not be at the happiest moment in your life or maybe you are! No matter where you are in your path or journey, here are a few ways to hono(u)r the life you have lived & are still living:
Can we just, but for a moment chat about our noggins? Your dreams, your goals, your passions, your actions, your decision-making process and power, how you chose to treat others or move about your day or how you feel about every aspect of life; guess what is involved? The saying that people are what they believe is no joke. The things you tell yourself may not make it real in regard to how others see you or feel about you, but it makes it real for you. This then affects how you feel about yourself and ultimately how you behave.
I insist on each person developing at least one mantra that he/she/they repeat to themselves a couple of times a day. Why? Because of the power our brains possess. In order for us to live a life that we truly deserve, we have to be MINDful of the information we are letting in, and also have the courage to look back and reflect on the things we already let in that have affected us. The daily flow of data or materials or people we allow into our lives can make us or break us.
Protecting your emotionally energy has become so vital given the fast-paced realities of the world we live in today. Remember that our minds and souls are connected, so in protecting and nurturing our minds, we do the same for our inner selves. Irrefutably, what affects our minds and souls will also manifest physically. Whether by a reaction on your skin or something more internal, your body will start to respond to the stimuli. That stress you feel? That sense of inadequacy? The constant need for validation? Do you know the sources? You might have an idea of a few, but to truly respect our existence, we have to take moments at least once a day or every other day to check in with ourselves.
We are committed, almost in a mechanical fashion, to ask others how they are doing. When was the last time that you asked yourself how life was and how YOU are coping? Are you merely existing or truly living and feeling fulfilled? Everyone will face challenges, thus living fulfilled is not without the absence of trials. It is HOW we meet those provocations, hassles and hustles that matters. It is the resilience that we foster that helps us navigate unchartered waters. Part of building up those healthy types of coping mechanisms that move us from just surviving to thriving is a willingness to learn from others. Listening or reading about their experiences whilst integrating our own can help us shape a better way to move through, forward and beyond any situation we are currently facing. We should be committed to nourishing our minds and souls with information that not only helps us develop our inner selves but provides glimpses of a colo(u)rful world that exists beyond the one we know.
Another important way to honor the life you are living is by letting go of things that no longer serve you. Negativity has never had a positive impact, so we must release it in order to not be consumed by it. I previously spoke about taking up space and holding space for others. This may be the time for a friend to hold space for you by being your non-judgmental listening ear. Speaking of the personal conflicts we are experiencing to a friend or jotting them down can be a relief-inducing approach that can help you let go of inner negativity that is holding you down.
No matter which negativity-releasing strategy you select, try to find the source. If you were a key player, then take responsibility, rouse the courage to apologize and commence the process of healing. If someone or others wronged you, it is time to let them know. Not only does this empower you as an individual, but it lets other be aware of the mistake they made which resulted in your feelings being hurt or you having experienced a sense of betrayal. In addition, it communicates to them that the situation was inappropriate which may prevent them from repeating it with you and/or others. In other words, all parties involved will have learnt a life lesson.
Remember, as you slowly release various negative events/occurrences from your life, never forget to operate from a place of forgiveness, respect, kindness, consideration and empathy. Try to view the situation from different perspectives and that in itself may offer better clarity of what transpired. Some things are in our lives for a season, and those that are surrounded by negativity should not define who we are. Think of how you can move forward with your life if you were to get past it all. If your future self were to look back, will hanging on to the negativity have mattered? Working through and releasing negativity guarantees and makes being present and mindful a reality once again.
Finding ways to enhance your well-being can include pursuing a hobby, a fun workout that you tailor to your needs to strengthen yourself or surrounding yourself or interacting with positive people. Remember, as you find others, they are there to enhance your positivity; not be the source. YOU have to be the source by altering your self-talk and starting the fire from within.
In a society where so much perfection is expected of each of us, we must protect our energy and know that we are enough. Enough doesn’t mean stopping at where you are, it means continuing to live authentically and in your truth. Listen, personal development is a must, but personal development must occur naturally and without societal pressures. When you are forced to change without going through the process of internal acknowledgment (that is you have not only recognized and embraced the idea, but you have REALIZED and made a personal decision that YOU, yourself need to change), then the act of change becomes an act of pretense. I say this because when we pursue self-improvement, it is because we have made the powerful choice to do so. Others can play a role in INSPIRING us to change, but none of us should change for others. You must be asking yourself what the difference is, thus I will break it down for you.
When you change for others, you do so for validation. That is far from authenticity. When you are inspired by others to change, you take into account your life lessons alongside the ones you have picked up from them. It is a lengthy process that involves unlearning and relearning, and it is never done so that others may approve of us. It is done because you as an individual are seeking to become a better version of yourself. It is a process that empowers you, helps you grow and nurtures your strengths. It helps you sit down and evaluate which parts of your being, you gently need to work on in order to become more self-aware and confident. Remember when I mentioned that where we CURRENTLY are is where we are meant to be? I said that because we should always value who we are as individuals even when we realize that there may be areas that we can improve. Personal development should never consume us, it is meant to help us be strong, yet humble and gentle; not only with ourselves, but with those around us. None of us are meant to be perfect, thus when we seek to improve who we are, it should boost our self-acceptance. Instead of feeling shame, we should be grateful for the circumstances that brought upon us this opportunity to grow.
Speaking of growth, let us believe in abundance by eliminating self-limiting beliefs. This is another way to honor the life you are living. Do not be boxed in by thoughts of never being able to receive all that is meant for you. There is a change in mind-set that is needed for this to be true. Sometimes all you need is a different strategy, a listening friend and a way to hold yourself accountable. What do you really think about yourself and your life? Even those who seem as though they have it all together also experience moments of self-doubt. Whether it is believing what someone said which causes one to label or repeat it to themselves or whether it is thinking of the worst possible outcomes or experiencing constant dips because of not being to control everything that happens. It is normal for us to reach a point where we question who we are and where our paths are headed. I state all this to let you know that you are not alone. In the spirit of releasing self-limiting beliefs, let us begin with what we can control.
One aspect of self-improvement includes holding yourself accountable, and possibly enlisting someone else to do the same and to constantly check in. This goes back to what I said about starting with things we can control. For example, when we make mistakes, it is not the end of the world. On the contrary, it is the start of a different level of self-awareness and growth. It takes maturity and courage to admit wrongdoing and to start the process of healing for all involved. Remember, owning up to the actions we take not only validates the situation, but provides an opportunity for us as individuals to reflect on our behaviors.
I have been a witness to the “impossible” becoming possible. I can tell you of many instances where not only I as an individual, but we as a family were stuck between a rock and a hard place; feeling suffocated at the time and not able to see a glimpse of hope. Yet here we are.
Lastly, take an inventory and journal all that has happened to you. The good, the challenging, etc. Every experience has molded us into who we are today and we need to honor and respect the experiences that have brought us to this very moment. I will speak much more deeply about the significance of this and reflecting in another podcast episode and blog post because the process is a delicate and lengthy one. Regardless, we can only get to where we are going, if we are open to reflecting on where we have been.
Let me know your thoughts in the comment section below, and if you have any specific questions that I may be able to assist with. In addition, you can subscribe to my podcast in iTunes, so that you may be alerted when a new episode and blog is released.
Yve (pronounced Eve) is a Public Health Specialist, Content Creator, Podcaster (www.secretsofyve.com ) and the CEO of the PATESI Foundation (www.patesifoundation.org) and PATESI LLC (www.patesillc.com ). Her family’s blog is located at: www.parentsofdragons.com