Cyberbullying and How to Deal With It
SECRETSOFYVE - Internalizing everything can be toxic
I cannot say that I am a victim of constant cyberbullying, but even one encounter (I have definitely had more than one), is enough to give me the ability to speak about it and against it. I hope that after you read this article, you will be more aware regarding cyberbullying and how to deal with it. I have come to the conclusion that a lot of people who bully others are dealing with insecurity or anger stemming from their life experiences. In other words, I have made a personal decision to not take it personally even though it may initially affect me.
Some people may seek drama or to harm others just for the sake of it, and we as recipients of their activities have to nurture resilience in order to not internalize every single comment or judgment that comes our way. There are a couple of things that I want to share with you before we move on to how to deal with cyberbullying.
For one, I believe that cyberbullying has given perpetrators the ability to hide behind different personas as they go around attempting to disrupt the lives of others with their words or online actions. To me, I believe in the saying that we should treat others as we want to be treated, but more often than not, that is easier said than done.
A few weeks ago, I listened to an Instagram live segment that truly opened my eyes. What I am about to say next is what I learnt from that segment that will help others like me who have chosen to share their life experiences and skills online to build communities. When you post online, remember that you are not asking for an opinion as to the best way to post or what pictures you should have used or colors you should have selected. All our feelings and life experiences are valid and we should have the ability to share them in the best way that we see fit. Unless there is a question mark at the end of a post, a blog, a YouTube video, tweet or other, the author or content creator is merely letting others know THEIR point of view in THEIR space.
While others merely block or delete or restrict an account, I believe in first planting a seed. I commence with thanking the person who commented before I proceed to give them something to think about. I go from asking the person whether they have experience with the subject matter to how they believe they have the authority to spew hate and whether they would tolerate it had the roles been reversed.
A lot of bullies expect to be engaged in the same way they began the attack, but I believe that responding with kindness or as dry as a friend once put it “killing with kindness” is a route they are not prepared for; hence the one I pursue.
SECRETSOFYVE
Here are a few ways to address cyberbullying and deal with with it:
Build up your self-esteem and confidence every single day. From developing a mantra to practicing awareness, nurture resilience that is impenetrable. Here is an article I wrote long ago about self-empowerment.
View your life as a success. Despite the ups and downs, you are still here showing up every single day. Others feel threatened by that, others lack the ability to push forward, and others wish they could be open and deal with their challenges the same way. There are people out there who just want others to feel the sadness and misery that they also feel, but we have to find the courage to not contribute to that. Thank them, wish them well and move on.
Practice compassion and spread positivity. Remember that everyone goes through challenges and not everyone has developed a healing or coping mechanism. This simple knowledge can be enough to remind you that YOU are vibrating on a higher level. Pat yourself on the back for that.
Recognize that it will not determine your life’s worth or your future. In other words, why should a comment disrupt everything you have worked for especially when it comes from someone who has not been there through the good and bad times? Do not allow a comment to alter your goals and dreams. People are welcome to join our journeys and if they are unable, it is quite alright; they need to humbly move out of the way.
We should all get into the habit of accepting people for who they are; whole and not just pieces of them. When you approach strangers online, practice humility and if you disagree, respectfully do so, genuinely thank them for allowing you to be in their arena and walk away (no one is bound to another).
Thus far, I have managed to create a space on Instagram, YouTube and my blog that is welcoming and bully-free. I am grateful for the people I attract my way, and I make sure to set a tone of kindness and humility that is evident the moment you arrive at any of my social media or online environments. I always welcome constructive criticism in my life; anything that contributes to my development or continues to push me towards self-actualization is embraced. In my core, I know that we are all dealing with something so instead of fighting back, I exhibit kindness and move on to resume my journey because nothing will hold me back.
Yve (pronounced Eve) is a Public Health Specialist, Content Creator, Podcaster (www.secretsofyve.com ) and the CEO of the PATESI Foundation (www.patesifoundation.org) and PATESI LLC (www.patesillc.com ). Her family’s blog is located at: www.parentsofdragons.com